Happy 21st Birthday To My Darling Daughter

I could start this off by saying, “It feels like just yesterday that you came into our lives…..” -but let’s be real, I’d be lying through my teeth! It feels exactly like 21 years ago! And that is a really long time ago! Girl, you’re getting old! I know that you have been looking forward to this particular birthday, but I honestly can’t imagine why (insert mom smirk here). After all, I wasn’t born yesterday…..nope, definitely not. So, jokes aside, are you ready to celebrate, sweet girl? Because your dad, your brother, and I are more than ready. Happy 21st Birthday, my darling daughter!

Birthdays always set the memory reel in my head in motion. And it gets going way before the actual event. I spend days, if not weeks, just reminiscing about years gone by, about the way we were. We lived simply and loved deeply, and, my darling daughter, every significant moment in your life was significant for me as well. You and your brother were my everything, and you still are. You’re turning 21, dear girl, but it’s just a number change to me.

A trip down memory lane

When I was pregnant with you, and I found out that you were a girl, I was delighted that things had turned out just the way I had dreamed they would. I had wanted a son first, and then a daughter. I wanted you to have a big brother who would always look out for you, but I didn’t realize how fiercely I would want to protect you myself until I held your tiny frame in my arms for the first time. You were so little, so fragile, so beautiful, and even then, so you.

You were the easiest baby to care for. And, after having your brother just eighteen months before, I was very grateful for that! You had no idea, but you being that way allowed me moments of tranquility I so desperately needed. In those quiet moments, I was able to soak it all in, savor every moment, and bask in the joys of motherhood, even if it was just for a short while. And for that, I am exceedingly grateful to you.

You were such a happy baby, always smiling and giggling. I would have never in my wildest dreams imagined that years later, that smile would disappear. The mental health struggles that you have faced have been incredibly difficult for you and for us. But the strength of your character has seen you through these challenging times. I know that tough times will always come around, such is the nature of the illness, but I am convinced that you will face them head-on. You are a fighter, a warrior, and one of the bravest, strongest women I know. And I need you to believe in yourself like I do. Because my darling daughter, you are a force to be reckoned with.

I went back home to Trinidad to give birth to you because I needed to be surrounded by my family. My parents had been my guiding strength my entire life, and I couldn’t imagine bringing a child into the world without them by my side. And I knew that the moment you made your grand entrance into the world, you would be shrouded in their unconditional love and support. And when they saw your face for the first time, the joy in the room was palpable, and the air shimmered with tears, laughter, and the scent of new beginnings.

My greatest sadness, as I reminisce about days gone by, comes from knowing that my parents aren’t here to celebrate this milestone birthday with you. They would have been so proud of the woman that you have become. Birthdays were never about fanfare for them, and the best, most reliable gift that I received from them year after year was the quiet assurance that they were my biggest supporters and that they would always be there for me when I needed them. In honor of them, I choose to bestow the same gift on you.

Your dad and I are your biggest champions. We have all been through a lot together, and to be honest, sometimes all I wanted to do was throw my hands up in the air in surrender. But the more I watched you face your struggles head-on, the more strength I gathered. Come what may, we will weather the storms together. That is my promise to you. Happy 21st Birthday, my darling daughter. You are so loved.

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The Adventure Ahead Is Yours To Write

21 years old…..The world will see you as an adult, but in my eyes, you will always be my little girl. When you were growing up, I never quite understood why it’s said that time with your little kids is fleeting. In the throes of daily living, when you kids were living at home and going to school, it was difficult to take a breath and really enjoy those moments. We seemed to be constantly on the go. Life was busy, and the days were anything but fleeting.

But I get it now. I blinked, and you were both off at college, pursuing your dreams. We went from spending day in and day out together to being apart for months on end. But it is what it is. As our child, it is a rite of passage to let you spread your wings and take flight into the world. And though our hearts break every time you visit home and then leave again, we suck it up, put on a brave face, and reluctantly let you go.

You have your whole life ahead of you. When you get to my age, 21 will be an obscure memory in the distant past. But the things you do today will shape the rest of your life. So enjoy this beautiful time in your life, but don’t neglect the responsibility you have to yourself to create the best version of you that you can be. The work starts now!

Advice From The Heart As You Turn 21

Be a good person

In all walks of life, be truthful, kind, and honest. Be respectful of others. Lend a hand wherever and whenever you can, never expecting anything in return, and even when there is no one looking. Be a good listener when someone needs it, and a shoulder to cry on when necessary. Find ways to make someone’s day brighter, even if it’s simply by smiling.

Own your mistakes

You have a lifetime of mistakes ahead of you. Trust me. I wish it weren’t so, but such is life. How you approach the mistakes you make is of the utmost importance. As embarrassing as mistakes can be sometimes, taking responsibility for your actions is a step in the right direction. Own it! Analyze what you did wrong, find ways to make it right, and move on. Use the insight you gained for future reference. Mistakes, after all, are just lessons in disguise.

Work on yourself

What exactly does that mean? As an introvert, this is my forte! The person you are today won’t stick around forever. That’s the beauty of life in general. It is ever evolving, never constant. Your experiences, the people you meet in your life, and the dreams you bring to fruition all play a part in your evolution.

But it is my belief that self-reflection and introspective thinking are the keys to becoming a better version of yourself. What are the things that you can improve about yourself? How do you react in different situations? Do you react appropriately? Could you do better? How would you like to be seen and remembered by people you meet? Put in the work on yourself, you won’t regret it. It is truly a labor of love, love for yourself.

Surround yourself with the right people

Not everyone who comes into your life deserves a seat at the table. Spend your time and energy with people who care for you and have your best interest at heart (kinda like dad and me- you know we’ve got your back). Keep your BS meter running and hone your skills to weed out the users, the haters, and the people with ill intentions.

And when you find your people, hold on tight and nurture those relationships. These are the people who will be there for you in the good times and the bad; these are the ones who will always tell you like it is. They are the ones who will show you the errors of your ways when you don’t see them yourself. These are the friends who, even though you drift apart somewhere along the way, when you reconnect, it will feel like you were never separated.

Be grateful

Things have been tough for you, my sweet girl, I know. Navigating the teenage years and young adulthood has been anything but a breeze. During these crucial years of life, youngsters usually develop their identities and try to figure out how they fit into society and amongst peers.

Your experience was no different, but it was masked by a veil of sadness and pain that made the whole experience significantly more difficult. Such is the nature of a depressive illness. It felt like such an unfair burden for you to carry, and as your mother, my heart broke for you. I wished I could take it all away, so you could have a chance at a normal life, but that wasn’t in the cards for you. Finding gratitude in moments like this seemed almost impossible.

“Being grateful does not mean that everything is necessarily good. It just means that you can accept it as a gift.” -Roy T. Bennett

And so, little by little, day by day, I have tried to find the little gifts in every situation. And I urge you to do the same. Life is too short to do otherwise. Just know that your struggles have not gone unnoticed, and my hope comes from the fact that I have seen you emerge triumphant time and time again, despite how insurmountable your challenges seemed. I love you, dear girl, more than you will ever know.

Save for a rainy day

Rainy days will come, they always do. Will you be prepared? I sure hope so! Yes, I know you like to shop, but do you really need all of those lipsticks? Ha, I know you’re going to say that you do! I’m not saying that you can’t have nice things, just make sure to live within your means, and put aside some savings. Rainy days will come.

Celebrate your strengths

We humans are always so hard on ourselves. We focus on our shortcomings and fail to acknowledge our strengths. When I said that you were the strongest person I know, I meant it. Find your strengths in each situation and celebrate them. Give yourself some props!

Travel often

As long as you can afford it, go out into the world and see what’s out there. Experience different places, different cultures, and different ways of life. Have fun, but use these trips as learning experiences and stepping stones to becoming a better citizen of the world. Having acceptance and tolerance in our current and future global atmosphere is so important and so needed.

Don’t compare yourself with others

As individuals, our singular journeys through life are unique and distinctive. No two journeys are the same, and no two people are the same. Celebrate your individuality and the particular experiences that shape who you are. You, my darling daughter, are one of a kind. There is no one like you and no one has walked in your shoes but you. And always remember, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Theodore Roosevelt, because after all, you deserve to be happy.

Give yourself grace

Take one day at a time, and allow yourself to be human. Not every day will be a good one, and not every moment will be a shining moment. You won’t always be on your A game, and that’s okay. Recognize your limits and forgive yourself when you fall short. Give yourself some grace.

Live life to the fullest

Live your life to the fullest so that when your end is near, you will have no regrets. Love fiercely, work hard, pursue your dreams fervently, always do your best, and make the best of every situation. And don’t forget to smile often. “Just for today, smile a little more.” -James A. Murphy

Take care of your health

As the saying goes, your health is your wealth. Take steps from now to ensure good health. You already have a great workout routine, keep it up. Eat well and make sure to get yearly checkups. I know you’ve seen your fair share of medical intervention in your life so far, but that’s okay. It just means that you are already taking action to improve your quality of life as a whole. Your health is your biggest asset.

CALL HOME

You have been really good about calling home so far, so keep it up! No matter where life takes you, the constant in your life will always be your dad and me. We love hearing your voice, and we will continue to be there for you whenever you need us. No matter how old you are, we will want to share in your triumphs and shoulder your burdens with you. You are not alone. You are so loved! So don’t forget to call home!

In Conclusion

Happy 21st Birthday to you, my darling daughter. I hope you know how much you are loved. You have your whole life ahead of you. Believe it or not, 21 is just a number! I hope you know that you are capable of great things. You have weathered many storms and faced many disappointments, yet you have accomplished so much already. Keep shining, keep smiling, keep reaching for the stars, and keep doing the hard things.

Happy 21st Birthday, My Darling Daughter. We love you so much.

Now let’s go celebrate!