21 Important Life Lessons I Learned From My Parents

A peek into my childhood

Life lessons are valuable, life lessons from your parents are pure gold. I consider myself lucky because not only did I grow up on the beautiful island of Trinidad and Tobago, I grew up in a family with rockstar parents at the helm. What made them rockstars? Well, everything! My parents, ma, and pa are both deceased now. Pa died in 2010 and ma died in 2018. Even though I miss them dearly, I am content knowing that they lived their lives to the fullest and that they live on in me and in the memories that we created together. My parents both grew up in rural Trinidad, in a town called Sangre Grande. Their families were poor and life wasn’t easy. They had to work hard for whatever they wanted, even to have an education, which so many of us take for granted these days. My parents were both hard-working teachers who dedicated their lives to enriching the lives of their students, not only academically but socially and emotionally as well. I always admire how effortless they made it look, but looking back now, it could not have been an easy task. They were determined that children should have an education that would prepare them for the rest of their lives. They lived and breathed education. When I took on a teaching job later in my life, I was able to walk in their shoes for a while. I was honored and I was honoring their memory. My parents lived a humble life and sometimes sacrificed more than they needed to, to ensure that my siblings and I had the education and life that we deserved. They saved up money to put my brother and me through medical school, which isn’t cheap as you probably already know. My sister followed in their footsteps and became a teacher. She was lucky to be mentored by two of the best educators I have ever known.

Daily life growing up on the island was fantastic. We lived about 30 minutes from the beach and went often, even if it was just for a drive. We would often meet up at the beach with relatives living in the area, to socialize, and have a good family lime (lime is a Trinidadian slang word for hanging out). In our home, family meals were a sit-down affair at the dining table, which involved eating and talking for hours on end about any and everything. You see, my parents spent time with me. They listened to me talk about things, it didn’t matter what, and they offered advice when needed. I know that I am truly blessed and for this, I am forever grateful.

So what life lessons did my parents teach me?

Here is my list and it’s crafted with love:

1. Be kind and helpful

My parents taught me to treat people the way that you would like to be treated. Kindness to them came effortlessly and seeing them in action was a blessing. At one point in time, my dad had the only car in the neighborhood. Our next-door neighbor was going into labor and she called on my dad for help. Getting an ambulance to come wasn’t easy, so my dad took her to the hospital himself. She ended up having the baby in the car but my dad didn’t complain once that he had to clean it up afterward. He would do anything for the people he cared about and even for people he didn’t even know. On the highways, when we would go out as a family, sometimes there would be people begging for money. We ALWAYS stopped and gave them whatever we could. My parents always said that it was our duty to take care of people in their times of need. I loved that, it made such an impact on me as a child to know that I had the power to add value to someone’s life despite my own situation.

2. Love people

I’ll be honest here. Growing up I never heard the words “I love you” from my parents. Sad right? Not really, if you understand why. It definitely was a cultural thing. I am pretty sure my parents never heard those words from their parents either. To tell you the truth, I never needed to hear those words from them because I KNEW, without a doubt that they loved my siblings and me. They may not have said the words but their actions were their love language. Just as they loved me, they loved the people in their lives. My parents were doers of love. I saw firsthand what it meant to truly love people.

3. Education is important

Life is hard. It demands a lot, and sometimes things can be overwhelming. I felt that way as a child going to school. I would have to get up at 4 am to get ready to go to a school that was an hour away. By the time I got home at the end of the day, I was tired. I had homework to do and the work could be quite challenging at times. I would sometimes be up until the wee hours of the morning trying to get it done. My dad would be with me the whole time. He would sit on the couch while I worked at the dining room table. He would nod off to sleep often but always reassured me that he was there for me. My parents always encouraged us to study hard to get the education that we deserved, so when my brother and I both got into medical school, it validated their efforts and words of encouragement.

4. Be grateful, always

Whatever your situation, no matter how difficult it may seem, there will be things that you can be grateful for. My mom was a very spiritual woman and expressed her gratitude for things through prayer. If that’s not your thing, that’s okay. Simply acknowledging what you are grateful for can be good enough. What are you grateful for? Here’s my list: life, family, health, dogs, getting up every morning, a roof over my head, running water, education, and wonderful childhood memories, oh, and I almost forgot……..chocolate!

5. Respect and tolerate all religions and races

One of the beautiful things about where I grew up was that people of different races and religions lived together in harmony. My mom was Christian and my dad was Muslim. They were a wonderful example to me as to how people can live in harmony despite their different backgrounds. We celebrated the religious holidays of both religions. We had friends and family who belonged to different faiths and we would celebrate with them too.

6. Save money and budget wisely

My parents raised us on the salaries of two teachers. Did we live a life of luxury? Heck no, but we lived comfortably and within our means. Ma and pa were experts at living a frugal life. We never took huge family vacations but somehow created magnificent memories just visiting different parts of the island. My mom had a special book in which she would write down her monthly budget allocations. I looked at it often as she wrote. Little did I know that I wasn’t just being nosy, I was learning how to spend wisely too. I felt special knowing that all of their sacrifices were being made so that they could put my brother and me through Medical School.

7. Mealtime should be at the dining table

Having parents who were teachers meant that when we were on vacation from school, they were too. Some of my best memories were made at the dining table on lazy vacation days. We would spend hours and hours sitting there after eating, just talking. We talked about life, religion, politics, ourselves and so much more. I’m so grateful that my words were of value to them, whether they agreed with what I had to say or not. Children love to be heard and listened to. I also learned good table etiquette in the process.

8. Never leave the house angry

This was a big one for my parents. They always told me that no matter what, I should always leave the house on good terms with everyone, and in a good mood. Why? Simply put, you just never know what life has in store for you. What if someone didn’t make it home? Sounds kind of morbid right? I always thought so too, until it almost happened. When I was 16, on my way back home from school on the bus that took us there every day, we were involved in a terrible accident. One of my friends died, another was paralyzed, and the rest of us were left with both physical and emotional scars. It was awful. At that moment when it was all going down, I remembered my mom’s words clearly. I was grateful that I listened to her. Please make amends with whomever you are arguing with before leaving the house, you don’t want to be filled with regret if you never see them again. That is a lifelong punishment that I don’t wish on anyone.

9. Wear clean underwear everyday

Sounds silly right? Let me tell you, my mom was dead serious about this one! It kind of ties in with the previous point. She said that we should wear clean undies in case we got into a vehicular accident and had to be taken to the hospital. She was big on hygiene and it has thankfully rubbed off on me!

10. How to love your spouse

My mom and dad were not the openly affectionate type but I knew how much they loved each other by the way they treated each other. Their relationship was one of mutual respect and admiration and I loved the way my father doted on my mom. They shared the responsibilities around the house and loved spending time with each other. You may not believe this, but I never saw my parents argue while I was growing up. Don’t get me wrong, sure, they had misunderstandings, but they would never shout or carry on in front of us. Instead, they would give each other space and work it out when they were both calm and less emotionally volatile.

11. Don’t drink, don’t do drugs

My parents lived by example and never drank or used substances, not even socially. Because I was raised to be strong-willed and because of the great example they set for me, I also choose to live my life substance-free.

12. It’s okay to cry

Look, life can be hard sometimes, even for a good kid living in an island paradise. When I cried, I was never belittled and it was never frowned upon. My dad was a crier, he cried in the good times and the bad. I loved it because it made him human to me. He was never afraid to show his vulnerable side. Can you imagine how many tears flowed at my wedding? A LOT!

13. Be respectful

I learned to respect my parents, my teachers, other people, people in authority, my elders, and most of all myself. My parents believed that showing respect to someone gave them the recognition that they deserved but also served as a testament to our character.

14. Be proud of who you are

I never needed this life lesson more than when I migrated to the USA. I didn’t look like or sound like most people. I am brown-skinned and I had a different accent when I talked. This can be quite intimidating for some, but I was able to overcome the insecurity of not being like everyone else.

15. Be proud of where you came from

I’m an island-girl at heart! Growing up in Trinidad helped shaped me into who I am today. I am grateful for all of my life experiences there and all the people I met along the way. I consider myself lucky to have come from a land with such a rich cultural heritage.

16. Family is everything

My family was tight. We meant the world to one another and I knew that they always had my back, even if we didn’t always see eye-to-eye on things. Now that I have a family of my own, I know how important it is to be there for one another. With my kids being teenagers, this is a difficult lesson to teach sometimes because they fight often. I constantly remind them that when things happen and friends fall to the wayside, family will always be there.

17. Always do your best

Kids these days are involved in so many things. If anything I’m a bit envious that I didn’t have all the opportunities afforded to kids these days. Growing up, I had my schoolwork and that pretty much was it. There were not many opportunities to get involved in sports and I’ll be honest with you, I sucked at sports anyway. My parents always urged me to put my best foot forward in everything I did. They lived by the mantra that hard work pays off. I’m a believer, it does.

18. Love animals

Growing up, we always had dogs. My family members were the ultimate dog lovers, and we usually had a few at a time. With the weather being warm all year long, the dogs did not live inside the house, they were outside pets, and so taking care of them was less labor-intensive. The dogs were an extension of our family and were treated as such. Every day my parents would make a pot of food just for the dogs. We even had some cats at one point, that my sister rescued from the street. I learned not only how to take care of our animals but how to truly love them as well.

19. How to love your kids

The love I received from my mother and father was unconditional. Too often these days, parents find themselves “buying” their children’s love by purchasing many material things for them. Even we, as parents have fallen into this trap. There was none of that in my household growing up. We didn’t get many things, but when we did, it meant the world to us. I knew my parents loved me by the time they spent with me, the way they listened to me, the way they spoke to me, the way they encouraged me, and the sacrifices that they made for me. Their love warmed my heart and even though they are gone from this world, I still feel their love inside of me and I know it will be there till the day I die. If I can love my kids just a fraction of how I was loved, then mission accomplished. Let’s face it though, no one is perfect and it helps to take a personal inventory of the parenting skills you possess so that you can work on them and gain new ones.

20. Parenting doesn’t end when kids move out

Even though it must be amazing to watch your child spread their wings and enter the world as an adult, it can be scary for parents to experience. I’ll let you know how it goes when my son goes off to college next year. I lived with my parents even as I attended Medical School, but the big change came when I got married. I didn’t just move out, I moved to another country. Even though we now lived miles apart, my parents still had a role in my new life. They were always there for me, to listen when I needed someone to listen and to offer advice when necessary.

21. Love your parents

Parents are human. They have flaws and they may not always get it right, but love them even if sometimes this may seem impossible. I only knew one of my grandparents, by the time I was born the rest of them had passed away. I didn’t get a chance to know them but I felt like I did because my parents spoke often about them. My dad would tell stories of how he took care of his mother when she was old and stricken with illness. He bathed her, he fed her, and most of all he loved her. I LOVE my parents with everything in me. The impression that they have created on my heart and my world is so great that I want the world to know. They were simple, humble, and kind. Most of all, they were MINE.