“If you work through the tough times, the respect and love that you feel deepens.” -44th U.S. President, Barack Obama: a powerful quote that I believe applies to the people we love and to ourselves. Recently, I turned 50, a huge milestone for me, the kind that forces you to take a hard look at your past and present to see just how far you’ve come. As an introvert, retrospection and introspection are integral, like mirrors facing each other – one showing me who I was, the other revealing who I’m still becoming. So to commemorate 50 years on this beautiful earth, this Valentine’s Day, I am writing a love letter to myself.
Valentine’s Day usually focuses outward, to another person or people. But this year, I am choosing to switch things up a bit and turn inward, focusing on myself: past, present, and future. Don’t worry, my hubby won’t mind. He knows that focusing on oneself is incredibly important. He did it in a huge way in the past, and it changed everything for us……everything. Today, he is the man he promised he would be when we first met. He goes above and beyond to be the best husband, father, and son he can be. And every day, I see a piece of my own father in him. My father was a great man, and I loved him dearly.
My husband and I do not feed into the Valentine’s Day frenzy, never have, because we learned early in our relationship that our love language is spending quality time together. We make time for that all year long, not just on Valentine’s Day. But if your love language is different, for example, you love giving and receiving gifts, by all means celebrate the day in whatever way makes you happiest.
A Love Letter To Myself
Dear Me,
You’d think we never spoke before, because I’m sitting here at my desk, completely stumped as to what to say to you! It feels a little weird, a little too formal maybe, I’m not sure. But one thing is for certain, it’s something I want to do, something I need to do. And what better time to show you some love and appreciation than on Valentine’s Day? And let’s not forget the huge milestone you hit last December, 50 years! 50 years is a long time to be alive, but you’ve made it in one piece, and I’m incredibly proud of you. You deserve to be celebrated.
A lot has changed in these 50 years. But in this journey of life, change is inevitable, and knowing how to adapt is crucial to one’s peace of mind. You’ve managed to stay true to yourself even when you didn’t earn any brownie points for it. Holding on to your core beliefs is your superpower, and it has served you well over the years. You’ve weathered the storms that have come your way with quiet grace and strength, and you’ve used those experiences as stepping stones to a better you. Vicky, you are truly remarkable.
The early years
Your story began in Trinidad, one-half of the tropical twin-island paradise, Trinidad and Tobago. I mean, how cool is that?! You are, and always be, an island girl at heart. And yes, I know you want nothing more than to live near a beach again, but patience, my dear, is a virtue. If it is meant to be, it will!
Of all the blessings you’ve received over the years, I know you consider being born to two amazing parents your greatest. They were truly the salt of the earth. They were as good as they come. You wouldn’t be who you are if it weren’t for them. Your years together were shrouded in love, and your bond was unbreakable.
They parented effectively and lovingly, while showing you how to be a good member of society. You learned how to love and be loved, to give and humbly receive, and to teach and be taught. You were groomed to be the best version of yourself, and you were given all the tools you needed to achieve just that. Who you are today is no mistake. Your parents raised you to be the type of person who would carry on their legacy, a legacy of love, kindness, forgiveness, respect, and strength. Now more than ever, the world needs all of those things.
As a young person, you couldn’t imagine life without your parents. But sadly, they are both gone now. The sadness has lessened over the years, and the memories have taken on a life of their own. The sweet memories provide you comfort and refuge when the going gets tough, and now and then, you crack a smile as you fondly remember those days gone by. Thankfully, the tears don’t come as often as they used to.
Marriage, motherhood, and beyond
I want to say how incredibly proud I am of you. Neither marriage nor motherhood is easy, especially after moving to another country and leaving your friends and family behind. But you rose to the challenge with grace and strength. There were many difficult times, too many to count, and you often struggled in silence. But the life you have made for your family is evidence that you are a survivor and a force to be reckoned with. Ma and Pa would be so proud.
You are now an empty nester living your best life, and you and the hubby just celebrated 24 years of marriage. There were times when it looked like the marriage wouldn’t make it this far, but it did. You worked through your struggles together and came out on top. That is no easy feat. A favorable outcome isn’t always guaranteed. I am so grateful that you didn’t give up. The tears you shed and the heartache you felt were not in vain. They are a gentle reminder that we shouldn’t take anything for granted. Nothing in this life is promised.
The kids are thriving on their own. Even though you didn’t want to, you knew you had to set them free, trusting that everything you had taught them had taken hold.
Along the way, you discovered that you’re an introvert. It was an epic realization, really, one that explained a lot about you. You finally understood why you are the way you are and embraced yourself wholeheartedly. And the moment that happened was pure magic! Now you proudly wear the introvert label, and every opportunity you get, you advocate for fellow introverts near and far! You’ve never quite felt like you belonged where you landed, but you’ve finally found your people; Introverts unite!
The ending of my love letter to myself
So here we stand, on the threshold of the rest of your life, life beyond 50, and I am excited to see what comes next. Some may think that at this age, things are winding down, but I challenge you to rev things up and make this season of your life even better than the last. There is so much more life to live, live it! See new places. Step out of your comfort zone and do new things. The world is your playground, so go play, will you?
You’ve sometimes felt like you didn’t deserve good things: you do.
You have sometimes felt like you weren’t capable of much: you are.
You’ve always felt like you don’t belong: you do.
Thank you for staying soft in a world that kept asking you to harden. You have learned how to bend without breaking, how to rest without guilt, and how to begin again without shame. That is no small thing. That is the kind of bravery no one applauds loudly, but I see it. I always will.
I am eternally grateful to be on this journey with you. It is so beautiful how you reflect on your childhood with such love and adoration. I congratulate you for pushing through the difficult times when giving up would have been so much easier. I acknowledge your failures and celebrate your wins. Cheering you on isn’t a task; it is an absolute honor. Boy, I’m glad you’re me!
An invitation to you, my readers
Valentine’s Day usually comes and goes without much of a blip on my radar. But this one already feels different; it feels like a real celebration of who I am, and a true appreciation of how much I love myself. This love letter to myself was exactly what I needed. Why didn’t I think of doing this sooner?
So in the spirit of Valentine’s Day, I am extending an invitation to you to write a love letter to yourself. I believe it is a healthy habit to spend time with yourself and do a little introspection. This was an incredibly rewarding undertaking, and I want you to experience it too!
As a matter of fact, I’ve crafted a few prompts to get the ball rolling.
- What is your sweetest memory?
- Is there something you need to forgive yourself for?
- What part of yourself, or aspect of your life, deserves more kindness?
- What makes you uniquely lovable?
- Is there a promise you can make to your future self?
- What is your quiet strength that nobody sees?
- How will you protect your peace moving forward?
I am incredibly excited for you! So go on, write yourself a love letter this Valentine’s Day! You won’t regret it.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you!
Much love and peace to you all!
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