“Remembering you is easy, I do it every day. Missing you is the heartache that never goes away.” – Anonymous—Happy Father’s Day in heaven, Pa.
I’ve started this post a million times over the last few years, but I never got very far. The words flowed, but so did the tears, and the emotional toll was just too great. Since my father’s passing, celebrating Father’s Day has been incredibly hard. The joy of the day was lost on me as it painfully accentuated my father’s absence in our lives even more. But whoever said that time heals knew a thing or two. It truly does. There’s no magic number of months or years after which the pain goes away, and honestly, I think it never really does. But time undoubtedly softens the blow and the impact on our fragile hearts.
So I claim today as a small victory because I’m ready to honor my father’s memory this Father’s Day in this safe space of mine, my blog Hope Above All. My father loved writing; whenever he put pen to paper, magic happened. His literary creations were works of beauty, all handwritten on pieces of paper that stacked higher and higher with every writing piece. He was old-school to the core! My father always encouraged me to write, not only because he loved writing himself but because he was a teacher, and that’s a teacher’s job after all! Oh, how I wish my father could have seen my blog!
Remembering My Father This Father’s Day
“My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” – Clarence B. Kelland. I couldn’t have asked for a better role model. My father wasn’t a man of loud lectures or grand gestures; instead, he taught me through the quiet consistency of his actions. I watched how he treated strangers with respect, how he poured his heart into his students, and how he faced life’s challenges with a calm, unwavering grace. The lessons he gave me weren’t written in any syllabus, but they have become the very foundation of who I am today.
Find more Father’s Day Quotes here.
The 100 Year Promise
My father always said that he would live to be one hundred years old. He didn’t, but I understand now why he said that to us. It was his way of telling us that the joy of life is in the journey. He wanted us to focus on making memories together, on living in the moment, and on being fearless in life, come what may. To a child, the thought of ever losing a parent can be daunting and downright horrifying. My father took that fear away from me and gave me the freedom to live life to the fullest. And we did just that!
We filled our days with shared laughter, deep conversations, and simple moments that now feel like the greatest treasures of my life. Whether it was embarking on spontaneous road trips or engaging in long debates about anything and everything, we never wasted a moment. Today, as I navigate another Father’s Day without his physical presence, I don’t look back with sadness. Instead, I look forward with the strength he instilled in me day after day. He may not have made it to 100 years, but through the lessons he taught, the love he left behind, and the words I write today, his spirit lives on.
To Everyone Missing Their Father This Father’s Day, You Are Not Alone
You are not alone. Every day, someone somewhere in the world loses their father. And even though you may not know them, you are bound by something very powerful and life-changing. You share the pain and helplessness that come with losing a parent. The moments right after the loss are paralyzing and incomprehensible. And the days that follow are an absolute blur. You go through the motions because you have to, and because it is expected of you, but the whole time you’re carrying around this massive hole in your heart that no one can fix.
And when the formal proceedings of burial and such end, everyone returns to their normal daily routine. Everyone but you. Life goes on, and the world keeps turning, and it almost seems like nobody cares anymore. Because this new normal for you is not one you chose, it’s not one you want, but you’re stuck with it. For me, these were the hardest days, and it seemed impossible to adjust to this different reality. Such is the nature of grief. It feels impossible to overcome, but I promise you, you will. The gift of time has been my saving grace, and I hope it will be the same for you.
My husband recently lost his father. He is going through all the things right now. And while I know that grief is a very personal experience, I’m trying to do my part and be by his side every step of the way. After all, where loss is concerned, I’ve been there, done that….twice. I lost my mother eight years after losing my father.
How To Honor The Fathers We Miss On Father’s Day
- Share a favorite story or memory: There is no better way to keep his memory alive than to share a memory you created together or a story that epitomizes who your father was.
- Reflect on the lessons your father taught you: And if you haven’t already, implement them in your own life to the best of your ability.
- Do something that your father loved doing: Go solo or invite loved ones to do something your father loved doing.
- Be happy: Sounds silly, but do you think your dad would want you moping around for him when you could be living your best life instead? No! Find joy in the little things. Make an effort, and take it one day at a time. I know it isn’t easy, and it’s okay if you’re not quite there yet. But I promise you that day will come.
- Give thanks: Grief has a way of clouding our view and dampening our spirit. Try to find a small clearing in the cloud of grief to give thanks for the man whose love and guidance continue to shape your life, even in his absence.
- Light a candle in his memory: Light a candle. And in the stillness of this moment, reflect on the things you loved most about your dad. Think about how his presence and now absence have impacted your life. And if you haven’t already, try to make peace with the fact that he is gone. And if you are the praying kind, say a prayer for him and all the loved ones he left behind.
- Plant a tree or flower in your father’s honor: It will serve as a lasting tribute and a living reminder of his legacy.
- Look through photos and keepsakes: I have to admit, this one is tough for me.
Love’s Enduring Echo, On Father’s Day And Every Day
Remembering my father on Father’s Day might seem like an easy undertaking for those who haven’t experienced the sting of loss. But the road to get here was not easy. It’s not easy for most. And it’s so important to allow yourself time to grieve, in your own way, and in your own time. Everyone’s journey through grief is different. Give yourself grace, and be patient with yourself. The emotional rollercoaster will eventually find a gentle place to rest. And if it doesn’t, know when to seek help.
Our fathers deserve to be remembered for the lives they lived, and not just for what they left behind. The grief of losing a father never truly disappears; it changes shape. It evolves from a paralyzing pain into something softer—a quiet, enduring echo of the love they gave us so freely while they were alive. On Father’s Day, that echo feels a little louder. It reminds us that even though our fathers are gone, the foundation they built within us remains unshaken and indestructible.
Conclusion
If I’m being entirely honest with myself and you, I have no idea how Father’s Day this year will pan out. But, I have high hopes that I can make it through the day remembering my father instead of trying to forget that he’s gone.
Please think of me on Father’s Day. And rest assured that I will keep those of you who have lost your fathers as well in my thoughts and prayers.
If, like me, you have suffered the loss of a parent, or both of your parents, I hope you find this space safe and accommodating, and I invite you to share your thoughts and feelings on the blog post and on your own personal experience with loss in the comments section below.
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