How To Be A Good Friend To An Introvert

They say good friends are hard to come by; as an introvert, I say good friends are nearly impossible to come by! I can count my good friends on the fingers of one hand. Some of them I have known my whole life, and one I have never met in person. They come from different walks of life and entered my life at different times, but one thing holds true for them all: they get me. I am guarded, I am cautious, and I am somewhat unique. But I am unapologetically me. It can be challenging to befriend an introvert. I know. So stick around as I share with you exactly how to be a good friend to an introvert.

“A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.” –Frank Crane. For an introvert, it can be terrifying to let others in to see who they truly are. But good friends can empower introverts to let their guard down and reveal their true selves. And when that happens, believe me, there is no turning back! In a previous article, I revealed why introverts are awesome, including why they make good friends. I would love it if you would check it out.

So, without further ado, let’s explore together how to be a good friend to an introvert!

Anyone can be a good friend to an introvert: here’s how

It all comes down to this: be informed and act accordingly.

Learn everything you can about introverts

Introverts possess some unique traits.

They…..

• need alone time to recharge and rejuvenate
• don’t like small talk
• find social engagements exhausting
• often make plans then regret it
• are very self-aware
• are deep thinkers
• prefer to work or hang out by themselves
• take their time making decisions
• are creative
• prefer texting to talking on the phone
• like to plan ahead

Of course, these characteristics are not the be-all and end-all of what makes an introvert an introvert, but they are an excellent place to start. As with most things in life, educating yourself is a great way to better appreciate the task at hand.

Now that you have educated yourself, now what?

Respect and accept introverts for who they are

Now that you’ve done your research, decide if you want to deal with someone with these particular characteristics on a regular basis. Don’t let that be your deciding factor, though. There are some really charming introverts out there, and being in their company alone will make you feel great! Embrace the differences in your personalities. Moreover, recognize that introverts bring unique perspectives to friendships. Just like you want to be accepted for being who you are, so do introverts.

Find common ground

It is a fact that the more things you have in common with someone, the easier it will be to forge a relationship with them. Of course, you may have absolutely nothing in common with the introvert you are trying to befriend, but that shouldn’t be a reason to write off a potential friendship. Instead, use it as an opportunity to try new things. You may even discover some new hobbies of your own!

Being a good friend takes commitment and heart

Respect the introvert’s need for alone time

Alone time is a crucial component of an introvert’s day. It is how we recharge after different activities. Usually, I get some alone time in at night just before bedtime. Other introverts may require several periods of alone time during the day. Alone time is not a want but a NEED. Introverts feel like they have been heavily dosed with caffeine without it. It is not a good feeling, and it is not advisable to go into the next day or set of activities without recharging. It will only lead to unproductivity and volatile emotions.

So when your introverted friend says they need some alone time, I urge you to respect their wishes and let them be. Trust me, it’s better for everyone! And when you respect their need for alone time, your efforts will not go unnoticed.

Be a good listener

It is no secret that introverts detest small talk. They prefer deeper conversations because these forge deeper, meaningful connections. They are excellent listeners, and their responses are usually thorough and thoughtful. For introverts, being willing to share in a conversation may take time, or it may come naturally. But when they do share, they want to be heard. So, listen attentively. Let them know that they are in a safe place to share and that their contribution is appreciated and welcomed.

Be patient

As mentioned in the previous paragraph, some introverts need time to open up and acclimate. Be patient with them and encourage them to express themselves freely at their own pace.

Being a good friend to an introvert means being in their corner

Be supportive

Different situations will present different challenges for introverts. Being a good friend to introverts means letting them know that you are in their corner and are there to help them navigate different situations. Social events especially bring about a certain level of anxiety in me. However, the burden of making it through these social events is less when I know I have someone there to offer support and friendship. Being a good friend means being their plus one when they need it!

Be reliable and trustworthy

Trust is critical in any relationship. It takes a lot for an introvert to open up to someone, and they need to know that you can be trusted with their innermost thoughts and feelings. Your introverted friend also needs you to be a reliable friend, someone they can count on. Keep your promises to them, show up for them, defend them when the situation calls for it, and help them when they need help. In other words, to be a good friend to an introvert, be in their corner!

It’s all about boundaries

Respect your introverted friend’s boundaries

An introvert’s list of boundaries can be extensive, but it is how they maintain their sanity and comfort level. If you have befriended an introvert and do not know their boundaries, please prioritize learning what they are! Honestly, for me, at least, it can be the determining factor in how far the friendship will go. I value my boundaries and demand that they be respected. My values represent who I am at my core. If you do not respect my boundaries, you do not respect me.

Typical boundaries introverts have:

• Personal space: Be mindful of the introvert’s personal space. I am a hugger myself, but some introverts dislike any physical contact and people standing too close to them. Also, please don’t show up at their home unannounced! It’s my worst nightmare, for sure!
• Need for alone time. Unless your friend says it’s okay for you to tag along if they need some alone time, just let them be.
• Social events: Many introverts prefer smaller gatherings in intimate settings because anything else may be overstimulating. If you invite your introverted friend to a large gathering, especially one where no one they know is present, they may decline your invitation. Being a good friend means that you will respect their decision.
• Means of communication: Many introverts prefer to text rather than have a conversation over the phone for instance. If they do feel like talking on the phone, they are usually the ones making the call. That eliminates the element of surprise and being put on the spot, something that introverts hate. Being prepared and planning ahead is important to us!
• Decision-making: Give your introverted friend the time and space they need to make decisions.

Flexibility and understanding are key

Be willing to change plans if needed

Sometimes, introverts make plans and later try to back out of them. This is so me! As a friend, you could try gentle persuasion to change their mind, but whatever you do, don’t push it! Introverts don’t like feeling pressured into doing things they don’t want to. And in the long run that could be detrimental to the friendship. Offer an alternative time or suggest doing something else, or nothing at all.

In conclusion

Friends are an integral part of human connection. Introverts need friends too. Being a good friend to an introvert can be challenging but remarkably rewarding. Mutual respect is quintessential in any relationship. Celebrate their uniqueness and their strengths. Show up for your introverted friend. Remind them that they are never alone and that you will always be there to support them.

I hope that you have found this article to be helpful in some way. You have what it takes to be a good friend to an introvert. Believe in yourself and show them what you are made of! Most of all, don’t be discouraged when your efforts seem to be in vain. Like most things in life, persevere and make sure you are giving it your best. If the friendship is meant to be, it will!

I appreciate you stopping by my blog as you traverse the digital universe. Hopefully, you will come again soon to check in and see what’s new on Hope Above All.

Much love and peace to you all! Now go out there and be a good friend to an introvert!!