How Nearly Dying At 16 Changed My Life Forever

Nearly dying at 16 has changed my life forever. I remember it as vividly as if it were yesterday. My world was turned upside down in a matter of seconds. As a young 16-year-old girl, I was left wondering if anything would ever be the same again.

As we did every day after school, my friends and I entered our privately hired bus to take us home. There was always avid competition for the more favorable window seats or those to the back of the bus. On this particular day, I lost out to the competition. I was unable to get out of class early enough, and so by the time I reached the bus, it was slim pickings. It was Monday, September 30, 1991, and to this day, I wonder what my fate would have been if I had succeeded in grabbing one of the coveted seats.

Nearly dying at 16 in a car accident changed my life forever

Our journey home was always filled with laughter and the incessant ravings of multiple teenage girls clamoring to tell one another about their day. Despite being tired after the long school day, it always felt good to fraternize with one another on the one-hour journey home. It relaxed us, and it was good for our young souls. These were some of the best times of my life, and I wouldn’t trade the memories for anything…… except one.

We were about 10 minutes or so away from home, and I could feel the anticipation of getting home growing. I especially looked forward to getting home, kicking off my shoes, and sitting down with my parents to tell them all about my day. However, on this particular day, our routine was disrupted, and our realities were shaken to the core. At about 2:45 pm, as I chatted with my friend sitting next to me directly behind the driver’s seat, I looked up and saw a truck barreling down the street heading straight for us.

The aftermath of the crash

There was no time to brace for impact, and in the blink of an eye, we had been hit head-on by the truck. The next thing I knew was that we were being tossed around in the bus like clothes in a washing machine. In those moments, everything seemed to progress in slow motion, and even as I was being tossed around like a ragdoll, I looked on in wonder as pieces of glass swirled seemingly slowly all around me.

I experienced an intense feeling of fear and anxiety, and when the bus stopped rolling, there was glass everywhere. The bus landed upside down on the side of the road, and my friends and I were strewn about the inside. Everything that transpired next felt like it was a dream. Onlookers rushed to our rescue. There was screaming; there was crying and utter anguish as our minds tried to process what had just happened.

We were in pain, we were scared, and we had no idea just how much this tragic event would scar us, inside and out. I don’t know why we weren’t taken to the hospital in an ambulance, but instead, we were put on the bed of a pickup truck that would take us to the hospital. It was there, as we lay broken and afraid, that the sheer magnitude of the crash hit us, and we were able to see the types of injuries we had each sustained.

When my parents got the news, they rushed to the hospital. When I saw my dad, he was relieved that I was alright, but he couldn’t speak. As he stood there, wanting to comfort me but unable to vocalize, I held his hand and squeezed it.

As a parent of two kids now, I could imagine what he was going through at that moment. When I saw my mom, I felt relieved that they were both there with me. My mom brought with her a quiet reassurance that it was going to be okay. She had a way of doing that in the most difficult of times, and it is one of the qualities that I miss the most about her. Believe me, when I say that as much as the accident victim is suffering, the parents are too.

To read about parenting after traumatic events, click here.

One of my friends was in bad shape, and she later passed away. It was the most difficult news I had had to internalize at the tender age of 16. How do you even come to terms with the fact that someone you knew, someone your age, had just been wiped from the face of the earth, never again to delight the hearts of her adoring parents and sister? Another friend was paralyzed from the waist down and now spends her life in a wheelchair. Another suffered severe head injuries. It was awful and honestly just too much for our young minds to process.

The days and months that followed were some of the most difficult that I have ever experienced. Horrifying memories clouded my mind. Furthermore, my sleep was tortured. My reality was tainted, and my spirit had been broken. I didn’t think that I would ever recover from the emotional stress that I suffered, but with the support of family and friends and the passing of time, I made it through this difficult time.

Lessons I learned from this tragic event

• Cherish every moment with your loved ones
• Be grateful for life
• Live each day to the fullest
• Count your blessings
• Everyone needs a support system
• ALWAYS wear clean underwear
• Never leave the house angry
• Some tragic events take longer to recover from than others, but recovery is possible
• You are stronger than you think
• Driving a car is no joke, it is serious business. Always be aware of your surroundings
• Doctors and nurses are true heroes: the ones that cared for my friends and me inspired me to pursue medicine as a career
• Be kind to people, you don’t know what they may be going through
• The trauma in your life doesn’t define you
• Some events in your life may be beyond your control
• Physical AND mental wellness are both important

In conclusion

My daughter is 16 now, the same age that I was when this event happened. To imagine her or my 17-year-old son going through something like this at this tender age is unfathomable. I now, as a parent, fully comprehend what my parents must have gone through when this all went down.

On this day, September 30, I remember my friends who suffered along with me, those still here on this earth, and our friend who was taken too soon. This shared, traumatic experience bonds us for life. Our lives were changed forever in a matter of minutes. Our limits were tested, but we have pulled through. We have gone our separate ways in life, but I know that we’ll all be thinking of the same thing on this particular day. Be well, my dear friends.