Happy 21st Birthday Son: A Letter From Mom

I gathered up my tissue boxes on my way to the desk to get started on this letter. I was sure I would need them. After all, if anything, I’m predictable. I basically cry for everything. And this is kind of a tear-inducing sort of occasion for moms, right? How can it be that my firstborn is turning 21? My baby is no longer a baby, and he really doesn’t need me for much anymore. I don’t know where the time has gone or how so much has changed in the blink of an eye. But here we are, shuffling into celebration mode because my baby is officially 21! Happy 21st birthday son!

I haven’t touched the tissues, not yet, at least, but the night is still young. And I am just getting started. Honestly, I don’t know where to begin, so I’ll do the practical thing and start at the beginning. And I hope you, my friends and cherished readers, will stick around as I take a stroll down memory lane.

Happy 21st birthday son!

Dear Son: In the beginning

When I first learned that I was pregnant, I was terrified. First pregnancies will do that. Fear of the unknown is a real thing. But as the months went by and you grew inside of me, little by little, that fear transformed into love. The kind of love that has no reason or explanation why, the kind of love that just IS. I had no idea what you would look like or what the future would hold for you, but of two things I was sure: I was going to be the best mom you could hope for, and I would love you till the end of time.

Son, so much has changed since the day I laid eyes on you 21 years ago. The world that I guided you into, the world with my parents in it, has collapsed into a distant memory. My parents, who brought me peace, joy, and a sense of belonging in my younger years, no longer grace this earth. And frankly, the thing that evoked the most sadness in me on this your 21st birthday was the fact that they never got to see you all grown up. They would have been so proud.

Twenty-one years ago, on that lovely February day (when youth was still on my side), as hard as we all tried, we couldn’t hold back the looks of awe and unadulterated bliss as you were brought into the room for the very first time. We were immediately captivated by your tiny, sweet face that, to this day, still looks a whole lot like your dad’s. I used to get all worked up when everyone said that you looked like your dad. But let’s face it, he’s a handsome guy, and you’re lucky to have inherited his good looks!

Happy 21st Birthday Son: Don’t ever forget your values

Leave it to your mom to make your 21st birthday a teaching opportunity. Nevertheless, Happy 21st birthday son! Let’s face it: my job is never done! I know that with each birthday of yours from here on out, my role as your teacher and mentor will slowly diminish. And believe me, I am well aware that the decline has already begun. Even though that’s a difficult truth to accept, I will gracefully take a back seat so that you can flourish, excel, and blossom in your own way and on your own time. Just know this. Whenever you need me, I WILL BE THERE.

As your mother, I’d like to believe that I know you pretty well. I know what drives you, I know your ambitions, and I know what kind of person you are at your core. Essentially, I know your values. Keep them close; they will guide you through your life as you make decisions, plans, career choices, and life choices.

It is ultimately up to you to decide what your core values are. Nevertheless, I have come up with a list of values I think you possess.

• kindness
• love
• determination
• integrity
• honesty
• motivation
• tolerance
• moderation
• dependability
• professionalism
• accomplishment
• ambition
• bravery
• confidence
• drive
• efficiency
• adaptability
• friendship
• growth
• learning
• perseverance
• travel
• respect

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop there for now. Decide which values are your priority and revisit them often through self-reflection.

Little nuggets of advice

Your 21st birthday is an incredible milestone in your life. While there are many more birthdays and milestones to come, please stop and enjoy this particular one. Too often, as adults, we get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and forget to live in the moment. Do that today, tomorrow, and forever more. You only turn 21 once!

You are my go-getter. I know that you have big plans for the future, and I have no doubt that you can and will conquer the world.

But just remember this…..whatever you do in life:

-do it responsibly

-always be mindful of how things you do will affect others

-make sure you are doing things for the right reasons

-have fun doing it

-always give it your best effort

I know that you haven’t experienced many failures in your life. Unfortunately, failures will happen. It is a fact of life. Use these failures as stepping stones to success, and never, ever give up on your dreams, passions, and goals. You are capable of great things.

Cultivate meaningful relationships as you journey through life. Not everyone who enters your life will stick around for the long haul. And that’s okay. Cherish the ones that stay. Give of your time and energy to nurture these relationships because they will be a source of comfort and happiness when you need them the most. And if all else fails, CALL MOM!

Practice gratitude in all aspects of your life. You have so much to be grateful for, even on the days when everything seems to be going wrong. Choose to seek out the positives in every situation and acknowledge them.

My proudest achievement

One of my proudest achievements in life is being your mom. At times when you were younger, I questioned whether I was doing a good job or making any impact on your life whatsoever. But then again, what mom doesn’t?

In reality, the biggest struggle for me was being an introvert and parenting you (SEE RELATED POST: Practical Struggles Of The Introvert Mom In Today’s World), the very extroverted child. Sometimes, I was way out of my comfort zone, but I did it anyway because that’s what moms do. You have taught me so many things. For example, you have taught me how to love, to adapt, how to work through emotions, how to be selfless, and how to affect change.

In Conclusion

I am so proud of you. I am in awe of the man that you have become. As you turn 21, and as I wipe away the tears of joy and contentment rolling down my face (I did need those tissues, after all), I am reminded of the strength and resilience that come with parenthood and the joy of seeing our children grow and succeed.

I didn’t get everything right when you were little, but when you call home just to say hi or to see how your dad and I are doing, it is a blissful reminder that I didn’t get it terribly wrong either.

Your journey into adulthood is just starting and is full of promise. While I miss seeing your face as much as I used to, I know that it is the way it has to be. I think of you often. I wonder who you’re with, I wonder if you’re happy, and I wonder if you are safe. It is a mother’s burden, really, but it is a burden I will carry as long as I have to. Your dad and I can’t wait to see what the world has in store for you. The sky is the limit.

So, Happy 21st Birthday son! Enjoy the day, the week, the month, and heck, enjoy your whole life. You have worked hard to get where you are, but the journey has only just begun. Celebrate the person you are and celebrate the person you will become. Celebrate this special birthday and create memories because when you get old, you will look back and smile.

“Life is a journey, and memories are souvenirs we take along the way.” – Unknown.

Finally, I LOVE YOU. Thank you for being a wonderful son!