Off To College: A Letter To My Firstborn

Ok, I’ll be honest with you. Memories aren’t as fresh as they used to be; heck, I’m not as fresh as I used to be! Let’s just say I’m no spring chicken! But of one thing, I am absolutely sure: you, my sweet firstborn child, have left an indelible mark on my heart, a mark I wear with pride and humility. Now that you are going off to college in the not too distant future, I find myself trying to hold on to you with all that I’ve got. I know that our life as we know it now will never be the same. You, my son, have stepped into adulthood. It is a path that we as parents can guide you along but one you must experience on your own.

One minute I’m pregnant with my first child, and the next, he’s off to college! What gives?!

I always believed that if there were anything I could do right, it would be motherhood. I had the most incredible example of a mother figure in my own mom. If I could do the job at least half as well as she did, I would be golden! She taught me some invaluable life lessons, lessons I hope I have successfully passed along to my own offspring.

Finding out that I was pregnant with my first child was terrifying for me, as I’m sure it is for most. Even though I felt that this was my life’s calling and I was ready to be a mom, the positive pregnancy test paralyzed me with fear. It hit me that from that moment on, nothing would ever be the same. My life and everything I did with it would directly affect this tiny little human in my womb. I had no idea just how much you would touch my life. I didn’t know that I could nurture another human being. I wasn’t sure that I had it in me, yet 18 years later, here we are, standing on the threshold of one of your biggest endeavors yet. I stand in awe of all of your accomplishments; of who you are as a citizen of the world, and I thank God every day that you turned out NOTHING like me!

The Joy Is In The Journey: My Letter To You, My Firstborn

Look how far we’ve come, my dear son! In my wildest dreams, I couldn’t even envisage the man that you have become. You have surpassed my expectations, and you have cemented my belief that we should always dream big. I have watched you transform; I have watched you grow. I have watched you spread your wings, and I have watched you blossom. I know you’ve got this. The world is your playground, so go out there and own it.

I always wanted to be a mom, but boy, am I glad that I have had the privilege to be your mom. I remember how anxious I was to meet you, and I remember how connected I felt with you. You gave me a shot at this thing called motherhood, you opened me up to a whole new world, and you stole my heart before even showing up. We have had a special bond that has only grown stronger with time. No words can adequately describe what it felt like to meet you. But when I finally did, and I took you in my arms, all was right with the world at that moment. I no longer had to wonder what you would look like because you were right there with me. And what a beautiful sight you were. As the tears of joy flowed endlessly down my cheeks, I held you with pride, and I showed you off to the world. Little did I know that proud moments like this would happen again and again as you grew.

One of the most challenging things I have ever done was move away from my country of birth, Trinidad and Tobago. I was moving to another country. Moving away from the only place that I had ever lived was tough. I was taking you away from my family, who had played a pivotal role in your upbringing. I was leaving my support system behind, and I was terrified. I was a new mom in a strange place surrounded by unfamiliar people. I did everything I could to make it a smooth transition for you. I never let you see just how scared I really was. But just so you know, I was petrified. You see, it’s tough being an introverted mom. It’s tough trying to put on a facade for the world whilst quivering inside with anxiety. Nevertheless, despite all odds, we made it! You didn’t just turn out good; you turned out great!

Academics have always been your cup of tea. It was pretty clear from the get-go that you were a little smarty-pants. And as those pants got longer, the list of accolades grew longer. Elementary school: All A’s; Middle School: All A’s; High School: All A’s. And in less than 2 weeks, we get to see you graduate as Class of 2021 Valedictorian. To say that we are proud of you is truly an understatement, but I will say it anyway. “We are so proud of you.” My only regret is that my parents didn’t live to see you grow into the young man you are today. They were all about education; they were teachers. You would have made them proud.

My advice to you

• Being academically gifted, you may think you know everything: you don’t! Be open to the experiences life WILL send your way. Be willing to learn from your mistakes because, believe it or not; you WILL make mistakes.
• Be humble in everything that you do and say. Don’t let all of your tremendous achievements turn you into someone who thinks he is better than everyone else. You are incredibly special, but that does not make you better than anybody else.
• Strive for excellence. As driven as you may be right now, don’t let the fire that drives you die out. Study hard and plan your college academics well. Keep pushing towards your goals but never forget to make time to rest, relax and nurture your mental well-being.
• Be responsible with everything you have been trusted with: life, health, money, friends, family.
• Be kind to people. Always be aware of how you treat people. Kindness is powerful. It can brighten someone’s day or even save someone’s life; that’s how big of a deal it is.
• Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Look, I get it; peer pressure is a real thing. I understand the need to fit in. I know how hard it can be. Start each day with positive thoughts and positive intent. No good can ever come out of these vices being in your life. Be strong enough to say no. Be strong enough to walk away. You are worth it!
• Make your bed every morning. Yep, every morning. It doesn’t have to be perfect; just do it. It creates a less chaotic living space, and it sets the tone for the rest of the day.
• Enjoy life to the fullest. Things won’t always be peachy. That’s okay. Don’t let that stop you from enjoying the greatest gift you ever received: LIFE.
• Be sensitive to other’s feelings. Life can be challenging. You need to be there for your friends and classmates. Some may need a shoulder to cry on. Some may need a listening ear. Don’t trample over someone’s feelings because you don’t quite understand what’s going on. Encourage conversation and meaningful dialogue. Do whatever you can to be there when someone needs you. Hopefully, one day they will return the favor.
• Go to your classes. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that skipping class is cool. It’s not. As tempting as it may be since mom and dad aren’t there to make you go, do the right thing. Don’t be a slacker. Remember why you are there and what goals you have set for yourself.
• Create a vision board. So you’re not very crafty, I know. Lucky for you, a vision board can be whatever you want it to be; just words, pictures, or both. Whatever format it takes, make sure you hang it up on the wall at your desk. Look at it every morning, every night, every time you lose sight of your purpose, and every time you are tempted to do something wrong.
• Get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. Yep, even on the night right before a big test. You don’t need to be falling asleep during the test, and you certainly don’t need to be failing any test because you fried your brain cells. Give those brain cells some time to recover.
• Eat well. You’ve worked so hard at staying fit. Continue eating a well-balanced diet. Don’t skip meals and don’t stress eat at exam time.
• Exercise. Make an exercise schedule and stick to it. You’ve done an incredible job with this so far. Keep it up!
• Surround yourself with people who add value to your life. Choose your friends wisely. You’ll be spending a LOT of time with them. Look out for red flags and steer clear of people with malicious intent. If a friend asks you to do something you are not comfortable doing or asks you to do something that you know is wrong, that person is not a good friend.
• Be grateful for the opportunity to go to college. Education is necessary, but it is not always available to everyone. Be thankful that you have been given this incredible opportunity and make the best of it. You owe it to yourself.
• Make a budget and stick to it. I think you already know that your dad and I are not made of money. If not, now you know! Use your funds wisely, and don’t let the well run dry. If you need to get a job, do it. There is no shame in that. If anything, a job will set you up for success later in life and teach you valuable lessons.
• CALL MOM!!! You had to know that this would be on the list, right? Look, I’m not going to lie to you; this will be really hard for me. I’ll miss hearing that dang Mustang driving up to the house every day. I’ll miss you annoying me all the time. I will miss hearing you ask me to get you something to eat because when I get it, the food tastes better. I most certainly will miss you taking Zoey out for me. I will definitely miss it ALL. But I know that this is just another stepping stone to your future. It is the natural course of life. I will have to deal with it. In the end, at this particular moment, I am brimming with pride, my heart is heavy but hopeful, and my love is bountiful. You, my sweet boy, have made us so proud. We wish you all the success in the world, but most of all, we hope that you shine as a human being. Go forth and conquer. That’s an order. But, DON’T FORGET TO CALL HOME.