How To Effectively Relieve Stress From Now On

Take a chill pill they say.

You look like crap they say.

You need to relax they say.

First of all, THEY just need to stay out of it, and second of all, how am I supposed to do any of those things when life keeps taking shots at me! As you might have guessed, it’s been quite stressful at the Prasad residence recently. It’s been one thing after another with no end in sight.

Here are some highlights:

• Miko, my 1-year old Chin-wa had to have emergency surgery (emotional and financial stress)
• My son’s car was rear-ended and totaled (emotional and financial stress)
• I ordered my son’s cap and gown for graduation next year (emotional and financial stress)
• My depressed daughter was having a rough week (emotional stress)

I know very well that life isn’t a bed of roses. I’m absolutely positive about that one. It’s just really hard when everything bad happens all at once and it seems impossible to recover from it all. I’ve had to dig deep into my bag of stress-relieving tricks lately because frankly if I didn’t, I think I would go mad.

How does stress manifest?

• Sleep disturbance: taking a long time to fall asleep, waking up frequently, poor quality of sleep
• Inability to focus on tasks
• Lack of productivity
• Emotional disturbance: irritable, frustrated, quick to anger, sad, anxious, worrisome
• Nail-biting
• Headache
• Sweating
• Grinding teeth
• Racing thoughts and rumination
• Gastrointestinal disturbance: nausea, diarrhea, constipation, abdominal discomfort

You may have all of these things or just one but stress is stress, and it just needs to go away. Nobody likes feeling this way. Nobody likes feeling out of control. I certainly don’t.

Ways to relieve stress

• Breathe

Please do, because we want you here for another 50 years! Jokes aside, I want you to pay specific attention to your breathing. Purposefully take deep breaths in and out. Focus on the air flooding in and out through your nose and mouth. Focus on the rising and falling of your ribcage. Focus on the feeling of contentment your body feels as it receives its lifeline. Feel the calm that this simple task brings.

• Make time to relax

When things are spiraling out of control around you, the last thing you feel like doing is taking a break. I get it. Unfortunately, if you don’t, you’re of no use to anyone and you are hurting your mental well-being. Notice I said, MAKE time to relax……….MAKE it happen. Don’t just hope that you find a spare minute in the day, FIND IT, and use it to relax. How you relax is entirely up to you. You get to decide. This lets you take back some control of your situation and the more control you gain, the more rejuvenated you feel. Go for a walk, watch a funny movie, hang out with your hubby, get a pedicure. Whatever you do, make sure that you keep any thoughts about your stressors out of your head.

• Make a prioritized list and use a planner

Currently, my husband has a to-do list of over 100 items. Can you imagine how overwhelming it is looking at that? More often than not he just puts it away with the resolve that he will get back to it soon. Yeah, when pigs fly. He’s already depressed, looking at that can worsen his depression. I firmly believe that your list MUST be prioritized. How on earth can you make that Chicken Parmesan before buying the chicken? Get the point? Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize. After you have come up with your prioritized list, it’s time to break it down into bite-size chunks. That’s where the planner comes in. For years, I swore I didn’t need a planner. I would just wing it, or at least try. That worked for a while but not for long………duh. Unless you’re blessed with incredible memory skills, get yourself a planner. It’s a fantastic excuse to go shopping! Once you’ve made your purchase of a planner you love (personally I’m into pink and blue hues at the moment), add a doable number of tasks to each day until you reach the end of your list. To me, there are fewer things more exhilarating than checking something off my list in my favorite planner. I think it’s the nerd in me.

• Exercise

My daughter makes us go to the gym EVERY DAY. Most days, I’m kicking and screaming out the door, but last week, I was the first one in the car. Going to the gym helps my daughter with her depression and I can see why. It relaxes you. It takes your mind off things and it gives you a sense of accomplishment. It was like my own little getaway from all the craziness of the week. If the gym is not your cup of tea, go for a walk, or a swim, or a jog. Just get out there and exercise and reap not only the physical health benefits but the mental ones as well.

• Listen to your favorite music

Some people would say listen to soothing music. If that’s what you like, then sure, by all means, put it on. While soothing music will definitely work, it may not align with the genre of music that you prefer. Listen to what makes you feel happy and alive. Listen to the tunes that feed your soul.

• Light a scented candle

It is the perfect season to light a scented candle! I absolutely LOVE all the fall scents, so I’ve been lighting one every day. The air just feels different this time of year, and enhancing it with a burning candle is pure HEAVEN. Looking at the flames also creates a calming atmosphere as well……cozy, cozy, cozy. Do you agree?

• Make a gratitude list

This is arguably quite difficult to do when your world is crumbling all around you. Believe it or not, you have a lot to be grateful for, even though at this moment it may not seem like it. Depending on your level of stress, and the severity of what is causing your stress, you may have a hard time accepting that there is anything to be grateful for. Open up your heart and your mind and believe that there are positives in your life at this very moment. They can be little things or big things but the fact of the matter is that they are there for you to acknowledge.

Here are some of the things on my gratitude list:

1. I woke up this morning. Grateful for my life.
2. I live a comfortable life. It isn’t easy but it’s mine to shape any way I want to.
3. Miko is alive because of his emergency surgery.
4. My son’s car was destroyed but he escaped with no injuries.
5. My daughter has depression but she has a loving, supportive family by her side. I have total control over that.

• Spend time with your pet

If you don’t have a pet and your stress is not financial, you can consider getting one! Pets add a whole new dimension to life as we know it. They are totally dependent on you for everything they need but as time goes by and you get more attached to them, you find that you acquire benefits from them as well. My husband never had a pet growing up and never really seemed to care for one in our early years together. I have watched him fall head over heels in love with our little Chiweenie Izzy. They are inseparable. It’s actually pretty darned cute if you ask me! She has helped him immensely in his battle with depression and spending time with her has become an integral part of his stress relief.

• Spend time with family and friends or get some alone time in

I know it seems contradictory but hear me out. We are all made up differently. I’m an introvert to the core and so I prefer time alone to time spent with others. I’m able to reflect on things and recharge my being by spending time with me. For others, a strong social network is a must. If that’s what fuels your passion for life and brings you peace in your times of need, by all means, spend quality time with those that make your time on this earth worthwhile. It will help you relax and your friends may have words of wisdom to help you through your current situation.

• Get rid of your stressors when possible

This is not always possible but it can be done in certain instances. If for example, toxic people in your life are causing you stress, cut ties with them, and move on with your life without looking back.

“When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.”

Henry FOrd

Hopefully you’ve had a better week than I have had. If not, what’s been causing you to stay up at night?