To My Beautiful High School Graduate

Congratulations to you, my beautiful High School Graduate! There were times when I didn’t think we would make it this far. I know you felt that way too. The challenges you encountered to get here were gargantuan and frustration and grief littered your path to success. Every step of the way was an intense struggle, and sometimes we cried together in despair. As if the burden of high school wasn’t great enough, your tiny shoulders had to bear the weight of something even heavier, something unexpected: your battle with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

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It was difficult watching you suffer, and every time you cried, a piece of my heart broke. No child should ever have to face such a monumental challenge at such a tender age, but fate was cruel, and the hand you were dealt felt unfair. Despite it all, you pushed on to the finish line, and your brave fight solidified one thing for me: you, my sweet daughter, are a true warrior. You are my hero. And as we stand here on the threshold of your college career, I want you to know that you are incredible. You are an inspiration to us all. Your dad and I are exceedingly proud of you. Well done, my sweet child.

Related post: Off To College: A Letter To My Firstborn

Graduation Day: Your first day as an official High School Graduate

Graduating high school means different things to different people. For some, it is the start of a bright new future at college, and for others, it marks the beginning of life in the real world. For us, more than anything, it signified that we had finally made it across a seemingly insurmountable hurdle. We were just grateful to have made it this far. After all, at times, this particular end goal seemed elusive and unattainable.

When you said that you were glad it was over, I knew you meant it. I knew that you were ready to say goodbye to this part of your life. More than anyone, I know how difficult it was for you, and I know how hard you fought. Your memories of high school would always be tainted by the dark feelings of despair, sadness, and helplessness. You are determined to put it all behind you and make a fresh start. I know, my child, and I am right there with you. Here’s to new beginnings!

My husband and I felt a sense of excitement and relief as we sat in the bleachers awaiting the procession of graduates on Graduation Day. I had walked with tissues in hand, expecting to shed a few tears, but I did not expect the onslaught of emotions that ensued. When we rose from our seats to watch our baby walk to her seat, all the feelings of sadness, relief, joy, and pride collided, and I just lost it. The tears came with a vengeance, and there was no stopping them. Every fear, every heartache, and every feeling of desperation converged in that moment, and I let the tears wash them all away.

The walk across the big stage

When the time came for you to make your way across the stage, I was on the edge of my seat. I was beaming with pride as I watched you walking over there.

Everyone knows how hard it is to raise teenagers, but raising one with mental health struggles has proved to be quite the challenge. I thought that knowing about Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder was enough. It seemed plausible that the knowledge and clinical experience that my husband and I had would be sufficient. But I was wrong, very wrong. Knowing about something and actually living through it are two very different things.

We have learned a lot about you and ourselves in the last few years. The girl we were about to see walk across that stage was a very different girl from the one at the beginning of high school. You have changed in so many ways. We have too.

Honestly, the actual moment when your name was called is kind of a blur for me. It felt like I had been transported somewhere else. I was drifting through that moment in slow motion as I reflected on your life, from the moment I held you in my arms when you were born to the here and now. A mixed reel of images played in my mind. I saw your smiles, heard your laughter, and felt your tears. I saw it all, and I felt it all in my core. What a proud moment this was for this mama!

New beginnings

As you took your diploma, with your daddy screaming your name in the background, the words “We Made It” echoed in my head over and over again. It has indeed been a team effort to get to this place. As parents, we tried our best to help you through this phase of life. And rest assured that we will be there with you till our last breath. Your steps off the stage signified a cataclysmic end to a harrowing time of upheaval in your life. You were saying goodbye to years of hurt. That moment signaled a new beginning for you, for us all. You did it, my sweet girl, you did it!!

Things I need to say to you, my dear daughter

While it’s true that we talk a lot, there are some things that I need to put in writing. I want these thoughts and words to linger in your heart and mind now and forever.

• you are my hero
• I have never seen a more fierce warrior than you
• your strength is admirable
• our love for you has no limits
• every single day of your life, you make us proud
• you taught us how to parent even in the face of adversity
• continue to be an advocate for others like you
• live your life one day at a time
• don’t let your diagnoses define who you are
• despite your struggles, continue to shine your light
• we are in awe of you
• the sky is the limit for you
• reach out to us when you need to, and we will ALWAYS be there
• don’t be afraid to let others see the real you because you are beautiful, inside and out
• work hard
• look forward, not backward
• smile, it’s your most welcoming feature
• be kind to others

In conclusion

As I breathe a sigh of relief and say adieu to the past few difficult years, I will try to take my own advice. Henceforth, I will look forward, not back. I know there are many parents out there just like me who are raising a teen struggling with mental health issues. I want you to know that you are and always will be in my thoughts.

The struggle is real, but you don’t have to go it alone. Seek help for your child and even for yourself if you need to. Arm yourself with knowledge and ready yourself for the fight of your life. But stand tall, my friend, because if I can do it, you most certainly can. Amid the dark moments, stop and breathe. Be patient with yourself and your child, and give yourself some grace.

The reality for my family is that even though we crossed this hurdle successfully, we know that there will be many more hurdles like this. We have vowed to take it one step at a time. I am not naive, and I am aware that the end of high school does not mean the end of my daughter’s mental health struggles. We know that this is a burden she will continue to carry with her. As a result, we have vowed to always be a support system on which she can rely.

We have reached a huge milestone in my family. Now that my daughter has graduated, we will have two college kids in the fall. The reality that I am a soon-to-be empty nester is beginning to sink in!

And to you, my beautiful high school graduate, congratulations on a job well done and a battle well fought!

We love you!